It's A Bird... It's A Plane... No... It's LITURGICAL MUSIC EXPERT MAN!!!
Posted by: tony on 12/18/2005 10:26 PM
Updated by: tony on 12/18/2005 10:46 PM
|
Expires: 01/18/2006 12:00 AM
|
 Yes, gentle readers who are plagued by Bad Catholic Music™, You now have a Super Hero in your corner. Liturgical Music Expert Man!!!
What?!?!?! You have good Catholic Music at your parish and You got a visit from Liturgical Music Expert Man anyway? Well... You obviously don't know the difference between good Catholic music and Bad Catholic Music™. Liturgical Music Expert Man knows. How does he know? Has he pursued Catholic Church documents with regard to divine workship? Does he have advanced liturgical training? No... He just uses his super power to simply know Bad Catholic Music™ when he hears it.
Liturgical Music Expert Man's super hearing is fine tuned so he can hear a guitar playing at mass half way around the world. And he'll swoop down on you if you are singing in ENGLISH (or any of the other assorted Tower of Babel languages that are not LATIN). Anything but an Organ just will not do.
Anything in an OCP hymnal will bring Liturgical Music Expert Man swooping down on you. He will rip up your hymnals and break your guitars and tambourines. But you are much better off with silence, than Bad Catholic Music™.
So as long as there are Haugen and Haas, as long as OCP continues to print music. As long as there is one non-organ instrument in any Catholic church. As long as the congregation can follow along with the music and be inspired by it, there will be work for Liturgical Music Expert Man!!!
(Thanks to Plato's Stepchild for the inspiration.)
|
