Sorry, but no one, in all the years since, has ever provided me a brief for how gay sex can be best for anyone. A human being can live without physical sex - what we have trouble living without is emotional and intellectual and spiritual intimacy. But these are not at all the same thing. In fact, my partner and I have found that our friendship has only strengthened and deepened after we stopped sleeping together - after, of course, we took the (painful) time to resolve all the stuff (anxieties, misperceptions, assumptions) that sex was papering over in our friendship. Now.....well, now we are family really. I could no more easily lose him than I could lose my senses or a limb - and I believe he feels the same about me.

Genuine, authenic love is blessed - as well as being something tremendously valuable and scary if you think about it - the thing that would compel or draw a man (or woman) to give up his or her life for the beloved. Sex outside of marriage and outside the two parameters of what sex is supposed to be for (unity and the possibility of procreation) is not really love - though it masqurades as love. It is sin and needs to be understood as such.