Truth and Charity
Posted by: tony on 09/28/2007 09:42 PM
Updated by: tony on 09/28/2007 09:42 PM
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Expires: 10/29/2007 12:00 AM
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I vividly remember a certain automobile ride about 10 years ago. My wife was driving, I was in the passenger seat and my girls were in the back arguing. I heard one of my girls hurl a hurtful name at the other girl and I reflexively barked: "Don't call your sister that!", and the offending girl in question came back with an indignant: "But it's true!". In a flash of insight, I explained to my girls in the back seat that truth is a requirement, but it is not sufficient. You need to look at three things when you are planning on saying something.
1. Is it true?
2. Is it hurtful?
3. Is it necessary?
If is false, don't say it. If it is true and is hurtful, don't say it, unless... it is necessary.
Sometimes it's necessary to say hurtful things to people. We have adopted this weird idea that it is a sin to offend people under any circumstances. Some people do this in the mistaken name of "charity". True charity wants what is best for the other. True charity counsels the other in a path which will bring them closer to God and their ultimate salvation.
Many priests, who have a firm grasp of the Truth of the Catholic Church are not speaking it in a mistaken attitude of charity. They really don't want to tick anyone off. They would prefer to speak on peace and justice issues that most everyone can agree on, and leave the life and sexual issues to someone else.
These priests are not charitable.
Charity is also served by how you approach it. If you see a man with his fly down, you can ignore it, and hope someone else tells him, but then he'll wander around with his fly down, while unkind people poke fun at him behind his back. That is uncharitable.
You can take him quietly aside and explain to him that his fly is down, but you risk angering him. He may wonder why you were looking at his crotch. He may have his fly down on purpose. He may mistake your charity for meddling. This is the risk we have to take.
You can also yell across the street, and risk embarassing him by drawing the attention of people who didn't realize his fly was down. This is uncharitable also. Not by divulging the information to him, but the manner in which you did it.
You can also address a room full of men about the dangers of leaving one's fly open. I will guess that every man in the room will take a furtive look down, or check his fly under his notebook. This is the most charitable. It not only addresses those who might have their fly open, but also warns the others about checking their fly in the future.
We have a problem with many priests not speaking about sexual immorality from the ambo. It's not that they don't think it's important, they just don't want to anger people and prompt them to go to St. Milquetoast's down the street where the homilies are even less challenging.
This is not doing people any favors. Sexual activity is ordered toward the creation of children. Eating is ordered toward nutrition and fueling our bodies. If any priest saw someone eating dirt, he would explain to them that it is unhealthy and is offering them no nutrition. That same priest is loathe to speak about contraception (which is the sexual equivalent of eating dirt).
Maybe if the majority of people in the civilzed western world ate dirt, it would be harder to correct them regarding the dangers, but the prevalence of the activity would make it much more critical to speak about.
Our Lord Jesus (who we are expected to follow) had a counter cultural message for his time. He spoke Truth to earthly power and it got him scourged and hung on a cross. This is the sort of courage we expect from our priests, deacons and bishops. Teach authentic Catholic faith always. Boldly. Forcefully if necessary.
Jesus expects nothing less.
I can almost hear Screwtape writing to his nephew, Wormwood: "If you can't convince him that what is false is true, convince him that speaking of it would be 'uncharitable'".
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