Shine on You Crazy Jesus
Posted by: tony on 04/23/2008 01:53 PM
Updated by: tony on 04/23/2008 01:53 PM
Expires: 05/24/2008 12:00 AM
The more I observe Catholic churches, and the more I hear stories like the one related by Patrick Archbold of Creative Minority Report, the more I become sure that those who volunteer to teach our children about the faith (especially sacramental theology) do so because they have an agenda that they want to inflict on our children.
First off, let me say that I have yet to volunteer to teach either CCD or sacraments in our church, and I have to respect those who take the time to do so. However, I believe that before one teaches children, one must understand what the sacrament is all about.
Also, I'd like to place many deficiencies firmly in the laps of the parents. They are the primary educators of their children, and any CCD or sacrament teacher is subordinate to them. This means that if the parents do their jobs correctly, they will be able to discern when they are being taught wrong, and have the respect not to challenge the teacher publicly.
I heard a quote (and I wish I could remember who to attribute it to) that after Vatican II, CCD began to stand for "Cut, Color and Draw". This attitude is no more apparent than in Patrick's quote:
Then the children proceeded to the sanctuary right in front of the altar where they began a song that made the first little diddy seem like a Schubert composition. This song had more hand motions than a three day conference for the hearing impaired. Then they started a clappin'! Then they started a hootin' and hollerin' punching their fists Arsenio Hall style "Woo Woo! Jesus!" clap clap clap "Woo Woo! Jesus!"
"Oh No! Please make it stop!! Please" I pleaded inwardly while I squirmed ever more to the choir of giggles behind me. Finally, the song ended. Ah peace! Or so I thought.
See Shine On You Crazy Jesus for video proof of the hand motions from Hell.
Now it was time for the children to rehearse coming up for communion. The DRE had them proceed up to the front of the church, pretend to receive, and walk back to the pews. However, the children were not instructed to bow their heads as a sign of reverence before receiving holy communion. "Are you kidding me? After all the well rehearsed antics preceding this, she was not going to instruct them how to receive properly?" I couldn't take it any more, I walked up to the front and politely addressed the DRE.
"Ma'am, excuse me, but shouldn't the children be instructed to bow their heads before receiving communion?"
"Uh...Well...no one really does that! Hardly any of the adults tomorrow will do that."
"Perhaps," I said "but they are supposed to, right? Shouldn't we teach them correctly?"
She responded "Well, if that is your family custom, you can instruct your child at home to bow his or her head!"
"Ma'am, it is not my family custom. It is in the general instruction. When receiving standing, the communicant should bow their head as a sign of reverence. Again, it is not my family custom. It is what the church directs."
"Well, Ok. But the children have so much to remember already, this will be too much for them!"
"Ma'am. I have just watched you rehearse two songs with so many hand motions that it would take me a week to remember them. I watched you instruct the children during the Lord's prayer to hold hands and to raise them up. Way up. None of which they are supposed to do during the liturgy. Now the one thing that they should be instructed to do, a simple head bow, is too much for them to remember? With all due respect, Ma'am, that is nonsense."
She then barked at me loudly enough that all eyes in the church turned to us,"Sir, I am not going argue with you here in front of JESUS!"
"Ma'am, I am not arguing with you. This is what they are supposed to do. Teach them the right way!"
"FINE! Fine. Children, children, we need to rehearse communion again."
I turned and headed back to my pew. I spied the family that had been sitting behind me watching me squirm, standing and watching the whole scene - giggles aplenty.
I abhor having to be that guy, but I couldn't sit by and say nothing any longer. I hope I did the right thing.
God bless Patrick. In the past, I have witnessed this sort of spitting on Church Tradition and Church authority. I have seen violations of the GIRM, and violations of Canon Law, and all manner of liturgical abuse and I remained silent because I was a coward. I didn't want to make waves.
But people's souls are at stake, and especially in the case of first communion and confirmation, children's souls and the souls of young adults are at stake. Someone needs to stand up for them. Patrick did, and I will. I promise.
